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Tapes invites you into an intimate process: a process that is necessary, but is also erotic, and therein lies many revelations. It’s one of those things that takes the image of sex being clothes-off straight-to-bed and smashes it on the floor. Tapes by Marras is about disability and sex, or, the intersection of the two. The best thing about being internet denizens is that we are open, at any time, to stumbling over the most vibrant of emotional objects: it’s difficult to understand why we sit there most of the time clicking on trailers and posting on forums when there’s a wealth of free, really interesting interactive experiences out there. Both worthy entries, neither very good for work unless you work at Marie Stopes. If you like the educational slant, try Privates by Size Five Games or Positive Space by Merritt Kopas, an edutainment piece about the practice known as “muffing”. In any case, I am along for this cuttlefish ‘ride’ because of lines like, “There are FISH here but they are not TASTY fish and are therefore BORING.” All the single fish, all the single fish, all the single fish, all the single fish - Put ya tentacles up! Cuddlefish is short, actually teaches you something about cuttlefish, and there is something sort of poignant about the way you solve the ‘getting laid’ puzzle.
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Okay so my main reason for including a game about lusty cuttlefish having sex is that a) it is like a way funnier National Geographic narrated by a drunk teen David Attenborough and b) it is so well written that I laugh with delight every time I play it. “You have: eight arms, colour-changing skin, lust.” Tea (SFW, not if you are a cuttlefish though) Of course, the danger here could have been that Leon might have made a game that tacitly condones violence against women, but Leon is the master of context: as we look upon our lady, she is always smiling, and as she kicks a rope out of your hand she winks at you conspiratorially. The problem in question here is a squirmy lady: sex is all elbows and knees at the best of times, and what if your lover is particularly wriggly? What if you’ve agreed you’re gonna play a little tie-up and she’s decided to be silly? Well, here’s a game about strategically placing ties on the bed to separate her body parts out so you can at least kiss her without being kicked in the face. Like Pietro Righi Riva, who is making a game called Awkward Sex about how hard (hah! I said hard) it is to position two bodies intimately, Leon is concerned with presenting us with a tricky bodily problem. I like Bind Her because it really conveys the absurdity of body parts and sex well.
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In an attempt to sex up the interactive neonhighway like a British secret dossier, I put on a large trenchcoat and a mask and looked dashing as I rummaged through the internet’s intimates in search of the best, most interesting free games about doin’ it. But YOU KEEP YOUR BITS TO YOURSELVES, DICTATORS OF THE PAST. I mean you can even make the likeness of Hitler and Stalin as Miis and then have them play tennis against each other, but still games are all like: NO HUMPING. Everyone’s always going on about how oh, we’re all thirty years old now, all grown up, and we’re making games about fatherhood like in Papo & Yo and The Walking Dead and all that jazz, and you can honestly murder anything in games these days, like you can make the witches in Left 4 Dead into Whitney Houston, have her sing to you, and then gun her down. You know what is weird, IGN? How few big videogames are about sex. If you're too young to be reading such things or you're likely to be offended by them, avert thy eyes! EDITOR'S NOTE: As is hopefully obvious from the title, this article contains some words about sexytimes, though nothing explicit.